Broken body, breaking soul
by KizuPL
Summary: Hello. Here are chap.7 and 8. From now on this story is... COMPLETE! I hope you'll like it.
1. Breaking heart

**Broken body, breaking soul**

-KizuPL

**Warning:** Sad, YAOI - don't like, don't read

**Genre:** Drama/Angst

**Disclaimer:** Do I have to say it? ........ sigh Ok, I'll say it. I don't own Naruto. But seriously why should I write it? Isn't it obvious?

**Summary:** Someone is abused and can't do anything about it. What will happen? [Sasu/Naru] [Gaara/Naru]

**Important:** Well, in my story Team 7 is 15 years old. And you graduate Ninja Academy at age 13. It's somehow Naruto POV, although I'm not good in those things. It's my first story! I'm not very good in writing in English, but I hope you will understand my story. If I made any mistakes please don't blame me too much. Oh, and this is my first story. Don't be too harsh on me. Please review, I would be very happy even if it would be an abuse.

.

Prologue

**My body is broken, my body is hurt **

**My body is bleeding again. **

**My heart is alone, my heart is hurt**

**My heart is bleeding again.**

**My soul begun to break, my soul is hurt**

**My soul bleeds in darkness again.**

**I'm really bleeding - I have many wounds**

**I'm really suffering - I have many cuts**

**I'm really hurt - I have many scars**

**On body, on heart, on soul - too much.**

**And it's all your fault, I blame only you**

**Because you called yourself my friend.**

Now when think about it, my spirit was breaking too. I just couldn't keep my happy mask when I was so down. It all has started two years ago, after Sasuke came back from Orochimaru. I just wish that bastard hadn't come back. Because that's when it all started...

(FLASHBACK)

"Naruto, I've got a request to you"

"What is it old hag? I've just bring Sasuke-teme back, I'm tired, I want sleep and I want RAMEN!!!" Tsunade sweetdroped but quickly get more serious.

"It's very important. I want you to promise me that you won't fight against Sasuke, you won't quarrel with him and you won't annoy him and that you will live with him from now on." I fell of my chair

"WHAT??!!! YOU'RE KIDDING! I WILL NEVER EVER DO IT!!!" I was really mad. First of all I had to bring him back, then fight with those weirdoes and now I'm supposed to be nice to him and live with him?! "ARE YOU CRAZY OLD HAG?! HE IS MY RIVAL DAMMIT!"

"Not anymore. Please Naruto. You have to agree."

"I WON'T AGRE-"

"Naruto dammit! If you won't do it Sasuke can run away again! I beg you! Don't fight, don't quarrel, don't do anything against his will. If you have ever loved this village, do this. We need Uchiha. It's your chance to prove yourself as a worthy ninja. Please Naruto." That was something new. Tsunade actually beg for something. But still... It's Sasuke we're talking about! But for village...

"Ok... I'll do it... I'm not happy about it, but for village... I'll do it. I'll live with him. I promise that even if Sasuke will attack me I won't fight him. I swear."

"Arigato. I'm really thankful Naruto." Tsunade answered with genuine smile.

(END FLASHBACK)

I was such a fool to promise something like that. Two years ago when I made this promise I made the biggest mistake in my whole live. I gave Uchiha power over myself, and now I was suffering the consequences of this stupid promise.

Yup.

I was suffering. The oh-so-famous-and-wonderful Uchiha was beating me regular. And it was getting worse and worse. And I can't give back. And I can't tell it old hag or Kakashi-sensei. They wouldn't believe me. After all it's the great Sasuke Uchiha we're talking about.

"Dobe? Where in the fucking hell are you, you bitch?!" Shit. He was back again. Oh shit! He sounds mad. Damn, damn, damn. I'm in big troubles now.

CRACK

Oh crap. He's going to beat me badly again. Hide, hide, hide! I have to hide!

"I'm calling you, you unworthy whore!" Stop "You bitch, come out!" Stop, stop! ''You little fuck!" Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! It hurt too much. You're hurting me! Don't you see it? Or maybe you know it and it please you? I don't know. I don't now nothing about you anymore... "You want play? Fine! When I get you will wish you was never born!" Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no... Please stop. Please, please, please... Oh God please don't let him find me.

Is he gone? I don't hear him. Maybe he went away?

"Well, well... What does we have here? Isn't it my little dobe?" Crap. I'm dead. He lean forwards me with this fucking smirk on his face. I scramble away as far as I can. Which isn't far. Oh shit. I'm cornered. The wall is behind me. He wants to touch me.

"D...don't. P...please..." I stutter. His smirk is even bigger

"Oh... don't worry." His hand reaches my face. I tremble. Wait. He caresses my cheek? Why? "I won't hurt you." Huh?

His face is near I can feel his hot breath on my face. I tremble even more. Why he's so near? What does he want? Why he's closer and closer?

Stand away!

Don't came closer!

Stop!

"I have already said. I won't hurt you. Not too much anyway." His all over me. And his eyes... There is something... I've seen before...

(FLASHBACK)

He's drunk. He's mad. He's even more drunk than ever. He pinned me to the floor. I already know what will happen next. He will beat me until I'm unconscious.

**My heart is hurt, it bleeds, it's broken - _again_.**

**My body is hurt, it bleeds, it's broken - _again_.**

I can't think... clearly. Wait... He's saying... something

"...Adorable... so... adorable... you... so... fu...able..." I can't... hear correctly. But I... look into his... eyes... They are dark... with something...Some kind of... desire? They're... wild somehow... I don't... understand... And I don't care... not any...more...

(END FLASHBACK)

That time I've seen it. But now it's darker and stronger and it scares me so much.

"Dobe..." He stroke my cheek gently

"D...don't... call me that" He laugh quietly

"Okay than... Naruto..." WHAT?! He actually called me Naruto in privacy?! What the--?! "I wanted to do this so long... you even don't now how long... Because you're..." Huh? I'm what? Can't hear him. "...adorable" What?

"Mmm!!''

His lips are on mine.

His hand is in my hairs.

His lips are on mine.

He's... kissing me.

I try to push him away.

He won't let me go.

He tries to force his tongue in to my mouth.

I try to push him away.

I fail.

"Adorable" Go away, go away, go away! Now!

Stop.

He tries to strip me. Stop him. Someone stop him! I don't know what he's doing! I don't want to know! Just someone make him stop!

Just someone stop him.

Please...

**My heart is breaking into thousand pieces**

**I still can't stop you, I want you to stop**

**But you take advantage and it hurt so much**

**Because you were my only friend**

Okay. I know it's short. But umm you know, I'm doubting myself. So... How was it? Did you like it? I know that poems suck because I wrote them myself and I'm not very talented.

I would love review. If you like it I will update as soon as possible.

**Broken body, breaking soul**

-KizuPL

**Warning:** Sad, YAOI - don't like, don't read

**Genre:** Drama/Angst

**Disclaimer:** Do I have to say it? ........ sigh Ok, I'll say it. I don't own Naruto. But seriously why should I write it? Isn't it obvious?

**Summary:** Someone is abused and can't do anything about it. What will happen? [Sasu/Naru] [Gaara/Naru]

**Important:** Well, in my story Team 7 is 15 years old. And you graduate Ninja Academy at age 13. It's somehow Naruto POV, although I'm not good in those things. It's my first story! I'm not very good in writing in English, but I hope you will understand my story. If I made any mistakes please don't blame me too much. Oh, and this is my first story. Don't be too harsh on me. Please review, I would be very happy even if it would be an abuse.

.

Prologue

**My body is broken, my body is hurt **

**My body is bleeding again. **

**My heart is alone, my heart is hurt**

**My heart is bleeding again.**

**My soul begun to break, my soul is hurt**

**My soul bleeds in darkness again.**

**I'm really bleeding - I have many wounds**

**I'm really suffering - I have many cuts**

**I'm really hurt - I have many scars**

**On body, on heart, on soul - too much.**

**And it's all your fault, I blame only you**

**Because you called yourself my friend.**

Now when think about it, my spirit was breaking too. I just couldn't keep my happy mask when I was so down. It all has started two years ago, after Sasuke came back from Orochimaru. I just wish that bastard hadn't come back. Because that's when it all started...

(FLASHBACK)

"Naruto, I've got a request to you"

"What is it old hag? I've just bring Sasuke-teme back, I'm tired, I want sleep and I want RAMEN!!!" Tsunade sweetdroped but quickly get more serious.

"It's very important. I want you to promise me that you won't fight against Sasuke, you won't quarrel with him and you won't annoy him and that you will live with him from now on." I fell of my chair

"WHAT??!!! YOU'RE KIDDING! I WILL NEVER EVER DO IT!!!" I was really mad. First of all I had to bring him back, then fight with those weirdoes and now I'm supposed to be nice to him and live with him?! "ARE YOU CRAZY OLD HAG?! HE IS MY RIVAL DAMMIT!"

"Not anymore. Please Naruto. You have to agree."

"I WON'T AGRE-"

"Naruto dammit! If you won't do it Sasuke can run away again! I beg you! Don't fight, don't quarrel, don't do anything against his will. If you have ever loved this village, do this. We need Uchiha. It's your chance to prove yourself as a worthy ninja. Please Naruto." That was something new. Tsunade actually beg for something. But still... It's Sasuke we're talking about! But for village...

"Ok... I'll do it... I'm not happy about it, but for village... I'll do it. I'll live with him. I promise that even if Sasuke will attack me I won't fight him. I swear."

"Arigato. I'm really thankful Naruto." Tsunade answered with genuine smile.

(END FLASHBACK)

I was such a fool to promise something like that. Two years ago when I made this promise I made the biggest mistake in my whole live. I gave Uchiha power over myself, and now I was suffering the consequences of this stupid promise.

Yup.

I was suffering. The oh-so-famous-and-wonderful Uchiha was beating me regular. And it was getting worse and worse. And I can't give back. And I can't tell it old hag or Kakashi-sensei. They wouldn't believe me. After all it's the great Sasuke Uchiha we're talking about.

"Dobe? Where in the fucking hell are you, you bitch?!" Shit. He was back again. Oh shit! He sounds mad. Damn, damn, damn. I'm in big troubles now.

CRACK

Oh crap. He's going to beat me badly again. Hide, hide, hide! I have to hide!

"I'm calling you, you unworthy whore!" Stop "You bitch, come out!" Stop, stop! ''You little fuck!" Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! It hurt too much. You're hurting me! Don't you see it? Or maybe you know it and it please you? I don't know. I don't now nothing about you anymore... "You want play? Fine! When I get you will wish you was never born!" Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no... Please stop. Please, please, please... Oh God please don't let him find me.

Is he gone? I don't hear him. Maybe he went away?

"Well, well... What does we have here? Isn't it my little dobe?" Crap. I'm dead. He lean forwards me with this fucking smirk on his face. I scramble away as far as I can. Which isn't far. Oh shit. I'm cornered. The wall is behind me. He wants to touch me.

"D...don't. P...please..." I stutter. His smirk is even bigger

"Oh... don't worry." His hand reaches my face. I tremble. Wait. He caresses my cheek? Why? "I won't hurt you." Huh?

His face is near I can feel his hot breath on my face. I tremble even more. Why he's so near? What does he want? Why he's closer and closer?

Stand away!

Don't came closer!

Stop!

"I have already said. I won't hurt you. Not too much anyway." His all over me. And his eyes... There is something... I've seen before...

(FLASHBACK)

He's drunk. He's mad. He's even more drunk than ever. He pinned me to the floor. I already know what will happen next. He will beat me until I'm unconscious.

**My heart is hurt, it bleeds, it's broken - _again_.**

**My body is hurt, it bleeds, it's broken - _again_.**

I can't think... clearly. Wait... He's saying... something

"...Adorable... so... adorable... you... so... fu...able..." I can't... hear correctly. But I... look into his... eyes... They are dark... with something...Some kind of... desire? They're... wild somehow... I don't... understand... And I don't care... not any...more...

(END FLASHBACK)

That time I've seen it. But now it's darker and stronger and it scares me so much.

"Dobe..." He stroke my cheek gently

"D...don't... call me that" He laugh quietly

"Okay than... Naruto..." WHAT?! He actually called me Naruto in privacy?! What the--?! "I wanted to do this so long... you even don't now how long... Because you're..." Huh? I'm what? Can't hear him. "...adorable" What?

"Mmm!!''

His lips are on mine.

His hand is in my hairs.

His lips are on mine.

He's... kissing me.

I try to push him away.

He won't let me go.

He tries to force his tongue in to my mouth.

I try to push him away.

I fail.

"Adorable" Go away, go away, go away! Now!

Stop.

He tries to strip me. Stop him. Someone stop him! I don't know what he's doing! I don't want to know! Just someone make him stop!

Just someone stop him.

Please...

**My heart is breaking into thousand pieces**

**I still can't stop you, I want you to stop**

**But you take advantage and it hurt so much**

**Because you were my only friend**

Okay. I know it's short. But umm you know, I'm doubting myself. So... How was it? Did you like it? I know that poems suck because I wrote them myself and I'm not very talented.

I would love review. If you like it I will update as soon as possible.


	2. Broken heart and cure for pain

-KizuPL 

**Warning:** Very sad, violence, YAOI - don't like, don't read

**Rating:** Umm... I think it's **R**, but I may be wrong.

**Genre:** Drama/Angst

**Disclaimer:** Again? ........ sigh Ok, I don't own Naruto. Happy? But seriously isn't it obvious?

**Summary:** Someone is abused and can't do anything about it. Abuse came to higher level. What will happen? Will he survive? Will he break? [Sasu/Naru] [Gaara/Naru]

**Important:** Well, in my story Team 7 is 15 years old. And you graduate Ninja Academy at age 13. It's somehow Naruto POV, although I'm not good in those things. It's my first story! I'm not very good in writing in English, but I hope you will understand my story. If I made any mistakes please don't blame me too much. Oh, and this is my first story. Don't be too harsh on me. Please review, I would be very happy even if it would be an abuse.

**Thanks to:** All of you. You are such a wonderful people. I'm so happy you liked my story. It really is great feeling.

**Special thanks to:**

My first three reviewers. It's for you! I'm really sorry but I don't remember your names. I only looked at your reviews for two minutes or so (I looked at mum work when she was gone and she hate what I'm writing - I hope you'll understand). And someone pointed out that I've got something wrong with... eee... singed something wrong. I already corrected it. Thanks!

Now, on the story. I'm sure you want to find out what happened next, right?

.

Chapter 1: Broken heart and cure for pain

**I'm confused and I feel weird**

**I feel like caught bird**

**I can't see my cage but can feel it**

**Because I can't defend myself and be freed**

What is he doing? I couldn't find answer for this question. Now his hands are touching ma where no one has. And he's touching me like nobody has. It feels... wrong. I don't want it! But what can I do?

"Sa... Sasuke... Stop." He just smirks. "Stop, please." It's wrong, it feels dirty. "Stop it Sasuke! Sto--hmm!!!" He kiss me again, this time to shut me up. Now his hands trap mine. His mouth is near my ear. And I can hear his whisper

"Stop struggling." He's kissing my check, neck and than collarbone.

"No, stop!" I'm almost screaming. His head is buried in my chest. I can feel his smirk against my skin.

"Why should I? I have already waited long enough." Now only one hand holds my wrists in tight grip. The other one is reaching my pants. He press his body to mine and my face turn white. I can feel his hard manhood against my stomach. That shouldn't be happening! They taught us that such a thing should happen when man is with a woman, not man with man! But if he's hard that mean...

Oh God, no. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no!!!

This can't be happening!

He can't... He can't... He can't want me...

Man can't be with another man.

Right?

"Naruto..." Oh God, his hand! His hand! It's in my pants. He... He... No! He can't... He can't touch me _there_!

"Naruto... you are..." Stop! Don't touch me! Go away! Away! "Naruto you are so... adorable" He's touching me _there_, oh God. He's gentle. But I want him to stop.

"No... Stop... Sasuke! Please, stop!" I struggle even more. I free one hand and I try to get him off. He wants to kiss me again to shut me up. I don't want! I don't want! I don't--!

CRACK

Oh my god! What have I done?! I... I... I... hited him! I broke my promise! I broke my word! What have I done?! What have I--?!

"You ungrateful bitch! I wanted to be nice to you!" Nice?! "But if you want it hard way, fine! Better for me!" His eyes! His eyes! His eyes are red! "I'm gonna make you wish you where never born, you dirty slut!" He strikes my head. I look in to his eyes. and I can't move myself away. I'm terrified.

"Sasuke!" I actually sob "Please stop!" Now I know what he wants. And...

**I'm really afraid and I'm really scared**

**Because he's acting like a hungry cat**

**He's like a predator and I feel like his pray**

**All I want to do now is to get away!**

"Please Sasuke... Stop! I beg you! Stop!"

"Shut the fucking hell up!" He grips me by my throat and picks me up. He throws me on bed. No, Please, no!

"Sasuke... Stop! Plea--!" He kiss me again. This time roughly. It's nothing like earlier. It's demanding. It's harsh. It's... horrible.

"Shut up." I can't move He bounded me with chakra. I can't free myself.

"Please Sasuke, don't. Don't do this."

"SHUT UP!" He does some seals and I can't reach my voice. "That's better. Now where was I?" He asks and his eyes are watching me hungrily. I shiver. My mind spins like crazy. It can't be true. It has to be some kind of nightmare.

He bites my neck and sucks my blood. Than his mouth came lower and lower. It's worse than before, he's really rough, uncaring and harsh. His mouth reaches my member. He's not nice at all, yet my body betray me. It felt wrong and dirty yet it aroused me. That's when he stops.

"So you like it rough after all. It looks like I was right. You are a slut. Than..." His smirk is even bigger. I want to hide, run - even die, just to get away from him! "I don't have to be gentle after all."

I'm naked on my bed. He's naked as well. I can see him and his penis is _big_. I can feel his heat and his... it is called lust I think.

He grabs me by hairs and my head is near his member. God... He can't mean...

"Suck." He commands. I don't want to. I'm trying to pull my head away but I can't. "I said SUCK!" He forces my mouth open and shove himself in. I want to gag. He pulls out, than shove again. And again, and again, and again. Faster and harder with each thrust. I can hear him moaning. Than he climax. I can feel him in my mouth. My throat hurt. He's still there. I want to vomit. But he won't let me. "Swallow." I don't want to but he makes me. I swallow. His semen is awful in taste. I want to curl up but he doesn't let me.

"That was good, slut." I want to get away. I hope it's over. His penis is still in my mouth and I feel him moving in and out and with horror I realize he's hard again. "Now, lets do something nicer." He said and I want to die.

He pulls away. I don't know if should I be happy he's gone from my mouth or be afraid of what comes next. He shoves my legs apart and touches me with his hands.

"Beautiful... So fucking beautiful..." He's kissing me again and again. Than he stops. I want to believe it's over but I know it's not. He grips my hips and whisper in my ear

"Now lets see how much of slut you truly are...." He move little and--

GOD!!!!! STOP!!!! NO!!! NO! NO! STOP!!! NOOO!!!! STOOOOP!!!!!

Oh gods, it HURT!!! So much, so much, so much...!

He forced himself in to me. I feel like he's tearing me apart. God, It hurt, it hurt, it hurt! He's too big. It HURT! It hurt, hurt, hurt too much!

I know I'm bleeding. STOP! STOP! STOP!!!

I'm silently screaming, I'm crying openly. My vision is blurry from tears. I want pain to go away. It hurt so much. It's burning through me. I can't believe I didn't rip apart.

He's panting heavily and he's moaning my name.

"God...! So tight...! So fucking tight...! God, Naruto...!" I want to get away, away from him. I want him to stop, to die, to vanish. I want him to stop even if it kills me. Sasuke, stop!

"Naruto...!" His movements are faster and faster. Harder and harder. Wilder and wilder. Rougher and rougher. They hurt more and more and more.

"Naruto!" He's digging violently in and out. It hurt even more and I almost blank out from pain. I wish I had. The pain is unbearable.

Than he cum again. I can fell his seed in me and I don't want to. I feel so dirty, so used, so... so... I can't find words to describe this disgusting feeling.

He put his clothes on. Than pat me on my head. "You where a very good fuck. Maybe, no, for sure we'll do this again. Bye slut!" He kiss me hard and walk away.

Oh god, how could he? Doesn't he know how much he has hurt me? Doesn't he see?

I can feel his chakra leaving my body. I know I can move, but I'm afraid of pain. I know my body is hurt badly. I'm so ashamed. I couldn't do anything and I broke my promise. I'm scared. I want to die. I don't want to be hurt again.

I want to get up but the pain shot through me. I'm lying in my bed. Bed cowered with blood. My own blood. I lay here and I'm thinking about what have you done.

**I can't move, I almost can't breathe**

**What have happened I can't believe**

**I feel so betrayed and the traitor is you**

**My only wish is to find a cure**

**I don't want feel hurt**, **I don't want feel shame**

**I want to forget what have happened here**

And you know what? I found a cure. If I have any emotions I can get hurt. But you know what? Today my heart was broken. And it has hurt too much. My heart is now broken and I'll make it freeze. When my heart will be frozen I won't feel any emotions and feelings. And I won't get hurt. Easy, right?

I just won't care.

I won't care about village and people anymore.

I won't care about feelings - mine or someone else.

I won't care about myself.

I won't care about physical pain.

So I stand up - even if my body doesn't want.

So I wash myself - even if it hurts.

So I clean up this bloody mess - even if I shudder while doing this.

So I throw away my diary - even if someone could read it.

So I will make my heart freeze - even if it's hard

And you know what?

I think I made it.

And you know what?

It already helps.

**It has hurt so much but now I feel numb**

**I don't feel any pain, I don't feel sad**

**I don't want revenge, I don't feel shame**

**Am I broken beyond repair?**

Yay! This chapter is longer. Can you believe I wrote this in my notebook at school? It took me 1, 2, 3......8 lessons! But it's unhealthy for my grades.

Anyway, how did you like it? I'm not an experienced writer. If it sucks - tell me. I don't know if you liked my poems but I hope so .

And... Should I finish here or not?

This update came really fast but I don't know when the next will come. I'm updating it at school. Sorry. I'm open for any ideas. Until next time!!!


	3. Changed, not that I realy care

KizuPL

**Warning:** Very sad, OOC, cursing, YAOI - don't like, don't read

**Rating:** Umm... I think it's **R **again - this time for cursing, but I may be wrong.

**Genre:** Drama/Angst

**Disclaimer:** Not again! ........ sigh Alright... I don't own Naruto. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. You know, this disclaimer thing is really tiring. Next time I'll send you to first chapter.

**Summary:** After horrible incident someone doesn't want to be hurt more and try to close his heart. Will he change himself? If yes, than who will he become? [Sasu/Naru] [Gaara/Naru]

**Important:** Well, in my story Team 7 is 15 years old. And you graduate Ninja Academy at age 13. It's somehow Naruto POV, although I'm not good in those things. It's my first story! I'm not very good in writing in English, but I hope you will understand my story. If I made any mistakes please don't blame me too much. Oh, and this is my first story. Don't be too harsh on me. Please review, I would be very happy even if it would be an abuse.

**Thanks to:** Everyone who have read my story. I'm happy you have found time to do it!

**Special thanks and answers to:**

**-B.U.G.I.M.S.-** You have helped me with this "signed in reviewers only" block on. And I know I'm mean to Naruto. But thanks for forgiving me! And that part about freezing his heart and Godaime and Kakashi not believing him... He, he... You'll see...

**-trubluewolfeyes- **I'm **so **happy you like my poems! Maybe you'll not believe me but those in story are my first ones in English! And about Sasuke... Honestly? I already have some idea, but lets leave it for later...

**-WaterBookLover- **Like you see I didn't end my story. And you see, Gaara/Naru and Sasu/Naru are my favourite!

**-Kaiyo No Hime-** Spell-check program? Why the hell not? You see there is one problem. Unfortunately I don't have such a thing:( But if you know where I can download it... write!

Now, I shut up. I bet you are curios what will Naruto do now.

.

Chapter 2: Changed, not that I really care

**I'm not happy but I'm not sad either**

**I think I'm a little bitter**

**But do you care? Of course not**

**To you I'm only a slut**

Now at home I don't act at all. I'm not a happy, loud and annoying boy that people know. I'm myself. Quiet, cold and calculating young man. Sasuke must seen my... change, but it looks like he doesn't care at all - not that I really thought that he would care after what has he done. Besides, I don't care either. Unfortunately I'm still pretending outside. I'm still wearing this stupid mask of happy boy. Why I even bother? Hn. I **don't** need the _honorable_ Fifth Hokage, Copycat ninja Hatake Kakashi and that teacher of mine from Ninja Academy Iruka-_sensei_ -those false friends of mine- in _my_ life. They could want to '_help_' me. Well, it's to late for them to '_help_' me anyway. Not that I would want any help from them now.

"Naruto? Are you here bitch?!" Oh yeah, that bastard is back again.

**You treat me worse than a whore**

**From my body you want more and more**

**You don't care about my heart and soul**

**You only want my body for your fun!**

Well, since he raped me one week ago, he's doing it repeatly. Night after night. Not that I really care. He still holds me down with chakra and shut me up with this seal. Like I even care. I stopped struggling. I don't want to be hurt more than necessary.

"What do you want to know Sasuke-te--?" Shit. I almost started a fight with him and I'm not allowed to. Not that I care. It's just that I don't break my promises. Well, not anymore.

"Come down here bitch!" Don't shout. And fuck you, you snake target. I'm not your dog even if you treat me like one.

"Sorry! Can't! Old hag wants to meet me!" I shouted back. That's true.

"I don't care! Get here you--!"

"Sorry! Must go! Bye!" I cut him and disappear. I bet he's angry and mad, but I have to go and I don't care about his mood. Today the Sand-Nins arrives and I - Uzumaki Naruto, the vessel of that fucking Nine-Tails fox demon and a future Hokage of this stupid village - am needed to take care of them. I'll be their baby-sitter and I must make sure they won't hurt anybody. Not that I care.

Oh. And I will ask Tsunade if I can live alone again and if not, I'll ask her if I can live with those Sand-Nins. After all I have to protect them from village or more likely, village from them.

So. I'm making my way to hokage office and I feel the stares.

Angry.

Full of hate.

Contemptuous.

Disdainful.

But now I don't really care about them. After all, this is new Uzumaki Naruto. I'm not that foolish, sensitive and silly boy from past. Now, I'm cold and uncaring. Those stares don't hurt me anymore...

...

...

Not so much anyway. Well... It looks like I still have feelings. Than I'll just have to take care of this and change it. Maybe I'll become like Gaara?

Love only yourself?

Fight only for yourself?

That doesn't sounds so bad now. It actually makes sense. Hm... About Gaara and his siblings... I wonder if those Sand-Nins know something about them. I can ask for them for sure.

"What do you think you're doing here?" Huh? Oh. It looks like I'm at Godaime place.

"I'm here because Fifth wanted to see me." Not that I really want.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot. You can go." Forgot?! Like hell! You just hate me like rest of them. Fuck you bitch! I love you to!

"Thanks miss!" Fucking bitch.

Well anyway, I was wondering about Gaara, Temari and that Kankurou guy. Not that I really care about what have happened to them, but still...

"Naruto! Nice to see you again!" Ups! I have to put my mask again.

"Nice to see you too old hag!" I know what I have to say.

"NARUTO!!!" Yup. She's mad at me. I know how to push her buttons.

"He, he, he! Just kidding!" Foolish hokage. "Anyway why did you call me?" Oh, did I forget that this information about Sand-Nins was top secret?

"Umm... You see we have a three Sand-Nins and I want you to take care of them... You'll live with them and, well... you know... Will you agree?" She's kidding right? Of course!

"Sure old hag! So who are they?"

"Why you unrespectful brat--!" She's angry again but another voice cut her.

"You want to say that's our... guide?" Wait. I know this voice, although it's a little bit changed...

"Um, yes it is. Well Naruto, they are those Sand-Nins. Please, show yourself." There is some kind of wind and I can feel... sand?! What the fuck?! I can feel someone looking at me with intense gaze. Slowly I turn around and--

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! GAARA?!"

(HM... Should I end here? Nah... I'm not so mean .)

I can't believe, I can't believe, I just fucking can't believe!!!! I'm supposed to live with Gaara and his siblings for full three months?! And take care of them?! No Sasuke for three months?! Hell yeah!

Oh, I can feel them watching me. Not that I care.

"Well then, where will we stay Tsunade?" I ask her.

"You'll stay at house near entrance to village. There is everything you or our guests might need. You can go now." I grin at her. That mean I don't have to go to my place where is that fucking bastard Sasuke.

"Sure." I look at Gaara, Temari and Kankurou. "C'mon, I'll lead the way." Temari and Kankurou follow me. However Gaara doesn't follow me, he's walking before me and I know he knows the way. But that's even better. I can look at him closely. I look and I notice something.

**There have been so many changes**

**And it didn't take ages**

**It all have happened so drastically**

**So quickly and dramatically**

He's... Changed. He doesn't have his gourd. And he doesn't look so terrifying like he has. Temari and Kankurou aren't afraid of him any more - I can feel it. So he's changed. I wonder why, when and what have motivated him to do so. Now he doesn't look so tired. Does it mean he can control that tanuki monster inside him? I have seen his eyes at Tsunade place. His eyes aren't so cold and haunted when the last time we fought.

Well we're at our place now. It's a little house. It has parter, first floor and second floor. It has five rooms, two bathrooms, one kitchen, one saloon and a training room. I show them their rooms. Temari and Kankurou got three rooms and one bathroom on first floor - Temari just _really_ needed two rooms. Woman's! Like Shikamaru said they are too troublesome. That's how I ended with Gaara on the second floor with bathroom and two rooms, which are almost one. My luck. Did I mention that on parter there is kitchen, training room and saloon?

Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I just want to rest after night.

"Uzumaki..." Gaara? What in the hell you want?!

"What?" He's looking at me closely. I feel like he can see all my thoughts. It's creeping me out.

"You seem... troubled... Is it our fault?" What the hell?! Gaara I knew would never ever care about me or someone else! He cared only for himself! What the fuck have happened to him?!

"No, no, of course not. True, I'm a little troubled, but it doesn't have to do anything with you guys." I assure him "It actually helped." I murmured quietly. Shit! I didn't want to say it aloud. I just really hope he didn't heard. Damn. I'm acting like a weakling. I'm supposed to be strong and be cold like ice!

"What do you mean?" Shit! He heard it!

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Fuck! It looks like he doesn't buy it. Shit. He's nearing. What the fuck is his problem?!

"You have... changed... You're not the same person I knew." At this I smile a little bitter

"Well it looks like I'm not the only one who has changed." He just nod but I can feel that his eyes are looking at me attentively. Damn him!

"Indeed Uzumaki, indeed." So everyone is different now. Hm. Interesting. I wonder... How different are we now?

**You are changed, I am changed, he is changed too**

**I and him have changed for worse - probably, you for better - I'm sure**

**You and I and him have changed the most**

**We have changed our places, he's completely lost**

Gaara is right. When to look at it I, Sasuke and Gaara have changed. No, wrong. Sasuke and Gaara have changed. I'm changing because I was forced to. Forced by Sasuke and by what has he done to me. I remember than when he began to change, at first I wanted to help him. After all we were friends. I really wanted to help him. There were so many things that we had in common. I wanted to help, but... I have failed...

**My voice couldn't reach him, he didn't want to hear me **

**He changed himself slowly but me too early**

**My change is not completely yet and it still can pass**

**My soul can emerge from darkness and again be ageless**

This is coming easier and faster than I have imagined, you know? Well, I actually had a little problems with poems, but somehow I made it. Hurray for me. And I had a real problem with title for this chapter. I just couldn't decide.

Just like I have promised in summary here is Gaara.

Anyway, what do you think about this chapter? I really hope poems aren't too bad. And do you like it? I really hope so. Please review.


	4. Normal life and rage

**-KizuPL**

**A/N:** It's me again! I have changed previous chapters a little bit. Nothing serious just correcting my spelling errors. I'm not sure if all, but still. And you know what? It's already fourth part of my story! I can't believe! And so fast gasp! I really was sure that it would take me **_much_** longer to update.

**Warning:** Sad, very OOC, cursing, YAOI - don't like? Than don't read.

**Rating:** I'm almost sure it's **R **again - for cursing, but I may be wrong.

**Genre:** Drama/Angst

**Disclaimer: **Like I said previously I send you to first chapter! satisfied grin

**Summary:** Gaara has changed. Just like Naruto. What will happen now? [Sasu/Naru] [Gaara/Naru]

**Important:** Well, in my story Team 7 is 15 years old. And you graduate Ninja Academy at age 13. It's somehow Naruto POV, although I'm not good in those things. It's my first story! I'm not very good in writing in English, but I hope you will understand my story. If I made any mistakes please don't blame me too much. Oh, and this is my first story but it's already fourth chapter. So please, don't be too harsh on me. Please review, I would be very happy even if it would be an abuse.

**Thanks to:** Everyone who read it. Thanks for your time!

**Special thanks and answers to:**

**-Sorry. Not in this chapter. In next one. Please don't be mad!**

OK. I'm quiet now. Lets begin the story!

.

Chapter 3: Normal life and rage

OK. That was unexpected. I mean who would have guessed that Gaara would change so much and in to such a nice guy? I mean, I live with him one week and he never ever wanted to kill someone, break something or hurt someone. Hell, he's nice. Yup. NICE. I mean this is Gaara we're talking about! A freak that is supposed to love only himself and fight only for himself! And you know what? He even slept! Well, I'm happy he still has this creepy and scary look sometimes, or else I would be sure it's some copy. Oh, and he still have this sand protecting him. I've checked it. I wanted to paint his face but the sand has stopped me and he was angry.

Oh yeah. I still have to keep my mask in place. I fool Temari and Kankurou - by the way, they are really COOL. Temari have thought me many wind/sand jutsus and Kankurou explained everything about his puppet and how to fight with one. I even tried and I already can do something. - but I've got a strange feeling that it doesn't fool Gaara. I mean, after that conversation we had he's watching me carefully and really intense.

He really is changed. Change, change, change! God, I hate this word!

**Change - just a common word in this world**

**Change - nothing more than a innocent word**

**Change - sometimes good. To me not any more**

**Because I never wanted to be a whore**

I'm changed for worse. I think so. Actually I wanted to change myself completely and be cold. I'm still not. But... I'm trying!

**However I know I still can change myself**

**To a human being which I were**

**I never wanted to change in what I'm now**

**But there is still hope to change it - right?**

Oh shit! I spaced again. I swear, Temari is going to kill me! I'll be late for dinner. Again. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I have to run faster, or I'll be late!

Phew... I made it in time.

"Hi Te-chan! See, I'm not late this time!" Strange. No one responded. "Te-chan? Temari? Are you here?" ..... Guess not. "Kankurou?" ..... He's not here too? What in the hell is going on here?

"Uzumaki Naruto..." Shit! Behind me! I turn around quickly and--

"Shit Gaara! Don't scare me like this! You fucking almost gave me a heart attack! Are you crazy?! And where are Te-chan And Kanrou?" Oh. Te-chan is nick name for Temari and Kanrou for Kankurou.

"Out." What the fuck?

"What kind of answer is that?

"None. I wanted them away from here." What the? Why?

"Why?"

"I... Wanted to talk with you." Shit! Shit, shit, shit! He knows something is not allright. Shit!

"Why?"

"You're lying. And you're not yourself." Fuck. "I want to... help you." Help me? Help me?! HELP ME?!

"Like hell! You want to help me?! YOU WANT TO HELP ME?! IT'S FUCKING TOO LATE TO HELP ME! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT FUCKER HAS DONE! AND I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING, FUCKING ANYTHING, TO STOP HIM AND YOU WANT TO HELP ME? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH! Where were you when I needed someone to help me?! Where were you when I was screaming for help?! Where were you when I needed someone to comfort me after what have Sasuke--!" Shit. I didn't want to say it. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!! I can see he's getting angry. I can feel it's not at me. I have to run, escape! Quickly.

Made it. I have run away from Gaara.

Damn!

I weren't supposed to tell him anything! And I have almost tell about that night.

FUCK!

**I have never wanted to tell you **

**But I have snapped and I told you**

**You don't know the whole truth yet**

**Now I'm afraid that you'll and that you'll be mad**

**I have ran away, I didn't want your pity**

**I have ran away, I didn't want to see you angry**

**At me - That I couldn't defend myself, that I was defenceless**

**At him - That he has take advantage of my weakness**

Um... This one is really short, but don't worry! I will update really soon! I have already written it in notebook, but I don't have much time to write it on computer, but I'll improve! You know - school.


	5. Safety, strange hunger and madness?

**-KizuPL **

******A/N:** Hello! Did you guys miss me? Like I said I've updated quickly!

**Warning:** Sad, very OOC, cursing, YAOI - don't like? Than don't read.

**Rating:** I think **R **again and like earlier for cursing.

**Disclaimer: **Blah, blah, blah... Go to first chapter because I won't write it again! grin But I own one jutsu! I made it by myself!

**Summary:** Naruto has snapped and now Gaara know that his change have something in common with Sasuke. What will happen? [Sasu/Naru] [Gaara/Naru]

**Important:** Just like in earlier chapters: Team 7 is 15 years old. You graduate Ninja Academy at age 13. It's somehow Naruto POV, although I'm not good in those things. It's my first story! I'm not very good in writing in English, but I hope you will understand my story. If I made any mistakes please don't blame me too much. Hey, do you know it is already fifth chapter? Anyway, don't be too harsh on me and review - I would be very happy even if it would be an abuse.

Like I promised:

**Thanks to:** Everyone who read it. And to everyone who like my story.

**Special thanks and answers to: **

- **inu-dbz-1/2 -** It's nice to know you liked my story. Thanks a lot for that 'refreshing' part. When I read it I have blushed from happiness (I actually always blush from happiness when I read reviews - it really is great feeling). And I'm happy you like my poems.

- **trubluewolfeyes -** You liked my poems again? Thank you! Your reviews always make me happy! And the fact that you like them so much... blush

- **Nejidragon -** I don't have anyone to read my chapters (My mum hate anime, dad doesn't hate it - it proof my English, but like mum he is a parent and I will never ever show it to him - and I don't have any friends that speak or write better in English than me). Still thanks for suggestion. Anyway now I have Microsoft Word with English dictionary so at least there won't be many mistakes. And I'm happy that despite my poor grammar you liked it! I'm happy!

Ok. I shut up and let you enjoy fresh and still warm bread... Something is not right. Let see... Fresh -ok, warm - ok, bread- ok, wait... _Bread_? Where in the hell that came from? I meant **chapter**!

.

Chapter 4: Safety, strange hunger and... Madness?

Two days have passed. Two days since I snapped. He wanted to talk to me again but I haven't told him anything. Hell, I even said that it wasn't anything bad. Just a stupid argument I had with Sasuke that day so he shouldn't take it serious. I have talked to him. And it went good. I mean I didn't snapped like last time. It looks like I'm getting better and better at being cold.

(FLASHBACK)

"Uzumaki..." Oh. It's Gaara. I bet he want to talk.

"Yes? How can I help you Gaara?" Don't worry. You know what to tell

"What you said earlier... What was that about?" I knew he would ask me this!

"Well... It's complicated. I don't think you want to know." Oh. Look. He's mad.

"I want to know what have happened." He got that annoying sand near me.

"Okay, I'll tell you. But it's really stupid. You see, I have seen Sasuke today and we had a... quarrel. So he said something that have upset me and made me angry. Nothing serious you see?"

"Hn. Only you could be upset about such a thing."

(END FLASHBACK)

That was what he said, but I still have a feeling he doesn't believe me completely. I can feel his eyes on me when he thinks I'm not looking at him. Nobody knows but I'm much, much stronger. I have mastered many basic and advanced fire, wind, sand, water, earth and even some sound jutsus. And did I told that I have... hm... How to tell it? Befriend? No. Reached agreement? Yup. Did I told that I have reached some kind of agreement with Nine-Tails? I have made it long time ago. Something about... one and half year ago? Well, something about that time. It was after Sasuke has beaten me really badly ...

(FLASHBACK)

Where... Am I? It's cold, ugly, run-down place...

I... I know this place... From somewhere...

This feeling... I know it too. But... From where...?

Wait. This is... Kyuubi chakra! So I'm in my mind. In other words Sasuke has beaten me to unconscious.

Hey, I can visit Kyuubi can't I? After all he can't do anything to me!

So I go to source of chakra. Whoa. This cage... Huge...

"**WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW WHELP?**" Hm... It looks like he's not in mood

"Aww... Nice as always aren't we?" Hi, hi. I love to annoy him

"**YOU SURE HAVE GUTS TO TALK TO ME LIKE THIS SHRIMP.**" Shrimp?!

"Don't call me shrimp! I'm a future hokage of this village, so at least show me some respect, or I'll call you names too!"

**"BWAHAHAHAHA! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO CHEER ME UP DIMWIT.**" I warned you

"Shut up stupid furball!"

"**WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU TO CALL ME, THE GREAT FOX DEMON A... A... A _FURBALL?_!**"

"Hey! I warned you! Don't call me names or I'll call you to." Ok. We both are quite.

"So... Won't you call me names?"

Silence...

"Hey, hey! I asked you something!"

Silence... Grrr! I hate silence! It's so, so, so... agh!

"Hey! I ask--

"**I HAVE HEARD YOU. AND I... AGREE.**" What?! He has agreed?! Awesome! But I don't know how to call him! I have always called him furball, baka kitsune, stupid fox demon, etc. So how am I supposed to call hi-- "**SO WHAT'S YOUR NAME... HUMAN BOY?**" Aww... He got the same problem!

"You may call me Naruto. After all it's my name. Bu how should I call you?"

"**I... LONG TIME AGO I WAS CALLED YAMI. BUT FOR NOW CALL ME... KYUUBI. JUST KYUUBI.**"

"Cool!"

(END FLASHBACK)

Since that time I was visiting him often and often. We have got to know each other. Than I could call him Kistune than Yami and now I'm calling him Tsune. Now I can lend his chakra. It was him who has taught me many of jutsus.

**_No one care about me so I don't care too _**__

**_Or at least I try my best to_**

**_Because there is someone who care about me_**

**_Although I never thought it would be him _**

He calls me Kit. At least someone care about me. Oh. And he know anything what happened to me. Sometimes we talk in my mind - I can't see him, but I can hear him. He knows what I'm feeling. I think he was mad when Sasuke raped me but I didn't talk to him since that accident. Actually I couldn't talk to him when that _incident_ has happened. Hm... It was quite time since I visited him. Maybe I'll visit him again!

Whoa!!!!!

I'm inside of me again. Now to Tsune. Aha. I can see the cage

"Hey Tsune! You're there?"

"**NO, I WENT FOR VACATION KIT.**" He's irritated.

"He, he." Hm... He looks pissed. I wonder why? "Something wrong Tsune?"

"**WHY HAVEN'T YOU TALKED TO ME?! WHY DID YOU LET THIS FILTHY... _UCHIHA--_**" He spat this word. He's mad. "--**TO DO THAT HORRIBLE THING TO YOU?! YOU'RE MUCH STRONGER THAN THIS, THIS, THIS... _HUMAN_! YOU COULD RIP HIM! KILL HIM! WHY DIDN'T YOU?**" I... I...

"I... I was scared Tsune. So scared... I was terrified of him. I couldn't reach you! You weren't there when I was screaming in my mind for your help. For someone help. After what happened I was feeling so used, so dirty and I wanted to change myself. I wanted to be like you. Uncaring, cold, heartless...! And still I couldn't punch him. I couldn't break my promise more than I had." Damn! I was supposed to be like Tsune yet I'm crying like a child! God! I hate myself!

**_I wanted to be cold like ice _**

**_I wanted to hard like a stone _**

**_I didn't want to be the hated one! _**

"**I... I'M SORRY, KIT. DON'T CRY. COME HERE KIT.**"

"I'm so-oo-rry Tsu-uu-ne! So-oo so-oorr-yyy!" I curl into him. He's warm. He wraps me in his tails

"**IT'S... OKAY KIT... LET IT OUT. I... I'LL HELP YOU.**" I cry even harder, but I stop quickly. Red chakra surrounds me and I feel much better. It looks like I'm getting harder thanks to Tsune.

"Thanks Tsune. Sorry for that thing. Well I'm off. I'll visit you soon! Bye!" I shout and I came back. I feel... different. I wonder what have Tsune done?

Suddenly I feel something new. It's a nagging feeling. I need something yet I don't know what. I want to go out from village. Then I sense something wrong. First I have to gaps landscape. So where am I? Hm... It looks like edge of village...

"Well, well. What do we have here? Isn't it some Leaf ninja?"

"Looks like weaker one. Genin I assume."

Those voices... I turn slowly. It's three Grass-Nins. Wait. Other ninja can't be in our village without permission. They don't have permission. If they had I would know it... So those must be Grass spy.

"Lets kill him." The tallest one with short black hairs and green eyes move closer but the smaller one with short green hairs and brown eyes stops him

"No, he's quite beautiful, we can have some fun with him." What?

"Wait Machi." The smallest one with long hairs and violet eyes stop him. "We're here to spy not to play."

"Aww. Come on Kane! He is cute. You have to admit." Is it jus me or are they ignoring me completely?

"Hm... You know Kane, he's right. He's fuckable, cute, little child." They're definitely ignoring me.

"Ichiru I've said no. Just kill him." They're going to pay.

'Run.' Huh? Someone said something? Besides I should run? Don't make me laugh! I never run away from opponent!

'You stupid brat. I'm Kane. I can read your mind and talk to you telepathically.' Hm. Interesting.

'It's not interesting. I don't want to kill you but you have seen us. You didn't want to run so die.'

No! Wait!

"What?" Aloud? Okay.

"Kane was it?"

"Yeah." I can see than he shut those two. Machi and Ichiru.

"Aren't you from Isankei clan? From what I know they were wiped out by Mist-Nins."

'I'm the last survivor. How did you know about my clan?'

"Lets just say that you shouldn't underestimate me. Because it'll be you who'll die." I smile and disappear.

I came behind Tallest and I shove my hand into his heart.

The blood gushed from him.

It has such a nice red color. It reminds me of Gaara.

Next one. The one with green hairs. I throw kunais into him. He dodges them but I'm behind him and I cut his throat.

The blood.

It's such a nice shade of red.

It's on my hands and kunai.

Seeing this blood it's such a nice feeling.

I've killed them. And I feel great.

**_Am I a monster? I feel like one _**

**_Do I regret? Not even a while_**

**_Why? - I can free myself_**

**_My anger, my pain, my grief_**

Now the last one. Oh. I think he's scared. No. Not scared. Terrified. Don't worry. Soon you'll meet rest of your clan. Now die.

He wants to run. Hi, hi. Run because I'm a predator and you're my pray.

I lick blood on my hands. It's sweet.

Such a nice taste. I wonder... How does your blood taste?

_**My pray**_ -_** run as fast you can**_

**_The hunting have just began _**

****

**_I want to feel your blood all over me _**

**_I want to taste your blood and you fear_**

I killed him. I killed them. I feel... strange. I want to do it once again. I know I can't but still I want. The look of terror on their faces was priceless. In some twisted way it warms my heart. Wonder why?

'**YOU WOULD MAKE A GREAT DEMON KIT.**'

Thanks Tsune. Do you know what was that strange feeling in the beginning?

'**YEAH. IT WAS BLOODLUST.**'

Bloodlust? How?

'**YOU WANTED TO BE LIKE ME SO I GAVE YOU PART OF MYSELF.**'

Thanks Tsune.

'**NO PROBLEM KIT, BUT SHOULDN'T YOU HEAD HOME? YOU WERE OUT FOR FIVE HOURS.**'

You're right.

So now I'm heading home. Oh. Wait. I have to clean up this mess. Hm...

"Fire element! Shadow fire strike!"(1)

Ok. No sign of any body. Now to home. What's that? This smell...

"Uzumaki Naruto? The Fifth want to meet you." Some ANBU. Wait. Tsunade want to meet me? Wonder why? Never mind. Here I come.

--------------------------------

(1) I have made up this jutsu. It looks so: Your shadow became a black/red fire and burn your opponent. You can control its movements, but it uses a lot of chakra. It's high-level Jounin technique. It can melt metal.

In next chapter there'll be more my own jutsus.

Why Tsunade called Naruto?

How did you like change of Naruto?

Does it sucks?

It's soo long! (Ok, maybe not to you but to me it's long) It's not all. But I have to think up poems to next chapters. I'm lacking inspiration for them. School has almost finished me. And my Polish teacher is horrible! She gave us two books to read on Monday! And I have a Math test on Tuesday. Stupid woman! I wish she would go to hell. It's such a luck the end of school is near.


	6. Confrontations

**-KizuPL **

**A/N:** Hi! I'm back!

**Warning:** Sad, very OOC, cursing, YAOI - If you don't like - don't read. Simple.

**Rating:** Um... **R **again. Like earlier for cursing. And it'll be **R** until end. Oh, and I won't put 'rating thing' in next chapters.

**Disclaimer: **He, he, he... Go to first chapter! I won't write it ever again! BUT! I own some jutsus! I made them by myself!

**Summary:** Kyuubi has given bit of himself to Naruto. Naruto has killed someone and now he knows what bloodlust is. He like it. Now he is heading to Tsunade office. Why? [Sasu/Naru] [Gaara/Naru]

**Important:** Um... You really want to know? It's just like in previous chapters: Team 7 is 15 years old. You graduate Ninja Academy at age 13. It's somehow Naruto POV. It's my first story. I'm not very good in writing in English, but I hope you will understand my story. If I made any mistakes please don't blame me too much. Anyway, don't be too harsh on me and review.

**Thanks to:** Everyone who read it. And to everyone who like my story.

**Special thanks to:** **inu-dbz-1/2** and **trubluewolfeyes**

Ok. I'm quiet. You can enjoy my new chapter! (Or not)

.

Chapter 5: Confrontations

Oh. I'm at Tsunade place. Heh. It looks like I'm even faster than Lee. Good. Now inside.

"Old hag? Are you here?" Strange I can feel her but can't see her. Sniff, sniff. That smell... It's Kakashi and Jirayia. What they're doing here? And why they're hiding? "Hello?"

"Na-Naruto..." It's Tsunade voice. Ouch! My eyes! Shit, that _HURT_! They could at least warn me to shut eyes before they turn light on. Okay. I can see now. Just like I smelled. Tsunade, Kakashi and Jirayia are here.

"Old hag! I knew you're here! Hey, hey! It's Perverted Senin! And Kakashi-sensei!" Yup. My mask is on place.

Hmm... That _is_ weird. Jirayia and Tsunade didn't get angry. Actually, they all are weird. Sniff, sniff. They smell weird. They look weird... What's going on here?

"Na-Naruto..." It's Tsunade again. She looks like she wants to cry. Damn. What's wrong with them?

"Old hag. You're acting weird. You're freaking me out, so please stop." She stands up. And threw herself at me. My first instinct was to get away. I... I don't tolerate people touching me. But I have to act normal, so I just stand here looking surprised. "Tsunade?" It's not normal at all.

"Why didn't you tell us?! Why didn't you tell me?!" She sounds angry at me, someone and herself. She sounds sad. She sounds like she's regretting something. What the hell? She is... crying?! "Why didn't you tell me that he was beating you, that he, that he, that he... raped you." Shit! I went rigid. She knows. They know. But how? I didn't tell them. Gaara don't know whole true. I was acting normal. I didn't tell, I didn't betray myself. Than how? How did she--? How did they--? How? How? HOW?!

Well. That doesn't matter anyway. But I'm still curious. And I can't show her she's right.

"What are you talking about? No one can beat me! I am Uzumaki Naruto! The future hokage and I never ever lose!" I grin but to my great surprise she just cry. That's not a good sign. I turn to Jirayia and Kakashi

"Hey, hey! You know what's wrong with old hag?" Jirayia just sigh

"Naruto. Stop." Damn. It's not good.

"Stop? What should I stop perverted Senin?" I still try to pretend the 'me' they know.

"Stop pretending. We found this." He shows me something. I've seen this before.

No way.

It's my diary.

Well... That explains how they knew.

"Like Tsunade said. Why didn't you tell us about this?" I guess the game 'to pretend' is over.

"Tsk, tsk. Kakashi-san. You ask me why?" Heh. They're surprised. One: my tone. Two: I called Kakashi Kakashi-san not Kakashi-sensei. Heh. Like he could teach me something.

_**I've always wanted people to acknowledge me**_

_**But they've always seen the demon inside me**_

_**I was starved for attention and I was fooling around**_

_**Now when I'm not - it's weird - that's how it's found.**_

"What do you mean Naruto?"

"Ah, come on Kakashi-san, you're not dumb. I'm sure you'll figure it out. After all you weren't called genius for nothing, ne?"

"Naruto? What do you mean?" God. Is he dumb?

"I'm disappointed in you, Kakashi-san. I could understand if you were Jirayia or Tsunade - they don't know our village so good like you." I wait... "Oh, well. Looks like I have to tell you. But first, let me present two different people. First one: The genius boy, the survivor of his clan, the top graduate of Ninja Academy, the prodigy, the avenger, the one who all villagers love and adore. And the second one: The dead-least, the failure ninja, the fool, the prankster, the evil seed, the demon child, the one which all villagers hate and despite." I pause and I see realization in Kakashi eyes

"You mean..." He cut himself and I nod. I see Jirayia and Tsunade puzzled expression so I continue

"I see Kakashi-san already know so I'll tell you two. Jirayia tell me..." He look at me "If first one would said that he wasn't peeping at woman's bath and the second one would said the same... Which one would you believe, knowing that one of them is lying?"

"Umm... The first one?"

"Exactly. Now if I would told you than a great Uchiha beat me, and he would just said that it's not true..." I cut

"You thought that we, that we... That we would... believe Uchiha?"

"Now, now, Tsunade. Don't be so surprised. I didn't thought that you would believe... Uchiha. I knew you would. I have experienced it." It was the first time Sasu--Uchiha has beaten me...

(FLASHBACK)

"Sakura! Sakura!" I'm shaking badly. I'm wounded. I'm shaken. Sasuke... Sasuke has just beaten me. I mean... I thought he was my friend like Sakura-chan.

"What do you want Naruto?! It's evening!" She's mad

"Sakura! Sasuke, he, he..." Now she's just curious

"He what? I heard you guys are living together."

"He has beaten me Sakura! I didn't do anything and he beaten me! It has hurt! Really! And than he said--!"

SLAP

Sa-Sakura-chan... Why did you... Why did you hit me?

"Why--?"

"Naruto! How dare you talk about Sasuke-kun like that?!"

Sakura-chan... "But Saku--"

"Shut up! He lives with you and he tolerates you!"

Sakura-chan...

"He's nice to you and you dare to talk so about him?!"

Sakura-chan...

"I can't believe you're such dirty lair!"

Sakura...

"And to think I was friend with you!"

Sakura...

"God! How can he stand living with such a demon?!"

Sa-Sakura...

"You truly are a disgusting, Uzumaki. I despite you! Now leave me alone, you demon!!"

Sa-Sakura... She walks away

It looks... It looks like he was right...

No one will believe me...

**_I thought you were my friend but you weren't_**

**_Just like him - you have only pretended_**

**_Was it to hurt me or were you just playing with me?_**

**_Was it funny when you were breaking me?_**

****

(END FLASHBACK)

"What do you mean?"

"Hn. If you have my diary read it. Than call me." I want to get away but she stops me

"I... I know it's probably too late for this, but... Can I help you?" I can't hold it.

I laugh.

"You know. It's true. It's too late. But... You can - not help me, like I said it's too late, but you can make my life easier - make me live without Uchiha, and... I want you to release me from my promise I made two years ago. I would appreciate that."

"Of course!"

"Is there anything else?" No one say a thing "Well then, I'll go. I've got a three Nins to take care of!" I pull my mask on and disappear but my fox ears catch one sentence

"God... What have I made him through...?!"

Heh. This is just stupid. Hm? This smell... It's--

"Where were you? Slut?" Uchiha...

"None of your business Uchiha." I want to go away but he grab me by my hand. I turn around slowly "On your place I wouldn't do that anymore." He smirks. I hate it. If he won't release me I'll make him pay...

"Why should I, bitch?" You're annoying...

"Because I'm going back from Tsunade and at least I can give you back." He looks surprised "Don't tell me you thought I have never gave you back because I was scared or weak." It looks like.

"Than why?" His voice is... changed.

"Why what?"

"Why didn't you fight back?" I roll my eyes.

"Because I have promised that no matter what will you do, I won't hit you or fight with you. Now I'm free. So if you want to fight with me, fine. But this time I'll give you back with full force."

"You... promised not to fight with me?"

"Yeah." I pull my arm from his grip with ease. "Sorry to tell you but it looks like you have to find a new fuck toy. See you Uchiha."

"I'm not letting you go! Fire element: Fire holding!(1)" Man, how annoying. I jump away

"Such a simple catching technique won't work on me! Well, my turn!"

Hey, Tsune! Lend me your chakra so he can't copy my jutsus!

'**SURE KIT. JUST MAKE HIM PAY FOR ALL.**'

You got it.

"Water element: Hot stream!(2)" The hot water have caught him off guard. Heh. I bet it hurt.

I grin. This is definitely going to be one of my best days. At last I can kick his butt...

------------------------------

(1) Fire element: Fire holding - It's Chuunin level jutsu. It creates fire string, which hold victim. It's not wise to move if you're caught. It can burn badly. But it's slow so if your opponent knows this technique he can easily dodge or jump away.

(2) Water element: Hot stream - It's also a Chuunin level jutsu. It creates a large amount of hot water. Something about... 70 degree? It can burn your opponent or choke him. It uses a lot of chakra if you don't have water in near.

OK. I wanted to say 'this one is short, because I'm working on another story', but after reading it again I came to conclusion that it's not so short. Review always liked! Until next time!

And this time there isn't many poems... Sorry! I'll try to write more. But you know, school... I'm so happy it ends soon!


	7. The truth

**-KizuPL **

**A/N:** Hello! It's me again! I want to dedicate this chapter to: **trubluewolfeyes!** I wanted to say: And sorry. No poems here. But I've made it! Yay! It was like this. I'm posting this chapter and I think: 'It's a real shame there isn't a poem here' and then POOF! The idea came to me.

**Warning:** Sad, very OOC, cursing, YAOI - If you don't like - don't read. Simple.

**Disclaimer: **It's in first chapter. I won't write it again! HOWEVER! I own some jutsus! I'm proud because I made them by myself!

**Summary: **Tsunade, Kakashi and Jiraiya know the truth. Sasuke know why Naruto didn't defend himself. Now Naruto and Sasuke will fight. Who will win? Will Naruto avenge himself? [Sasu/Naru] [Gaara/Naru]

**Important: **Just like in previous chapters: Team 7 is 15 years old. You graduate Ninja Academy at age 13. It's somehow Naruto POV. It's my first story. I'm not very good in writing in English, but I hope you will understand my story. If I made any mistakes please don't blame me too much. Anyway, don't be too harsh on me and review.

**Thanks to:** Everyone who read it. And to everyone who like my story.

**Special thanks to: inu-dbz-1/2, WaterBookLover, SilentOmega, B.U.G.I.M.S, Akito **and** SD.** Thank you soooo much!!!!

Now I'm quiet. I hope you'll like it!

.

Chapter 6: The truth

This fight is...

BORING!!!

I mean, I thought that he'd have some cool techniques, or speed or anything. But he's just... Pathetic. I'm playing with him. And I'm starting to get annoyed by his low level. Maybe I should just kill him? Nah. Too easy. Besides, he doesn't deserve light death. Than maybe I should do the same? No. I haven't fall so low. Yet. Wait. I've got better idea. Yes. Much better.

"Ninpou: Silence flash!(1)" Heh. Fun time!

I disappear.

"Fire element: Fire holding." Now I wait until he can see me again and I smirk.

"Had fun Uchiha?" He's furious

"Who the fuck are you?!"

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto. Can't remember?"

"The hell! Naruto I know is a dunce and MY property."

"Exactly. Naruto you have known no longer exist."

"I'll kill you!"

"Don't make me laugh. You want to kill Itachi yet you can't beat me." I came closer to him "Tell me how do you feel? Is it nice feeling knowing you can't do anything? Knowing all you can do is watch? Tell me Uchiha." I won't do anything to him but he doesn't know it. I take his head in one hand and then lick a trail from his check to neck. I feel him shudder. And I laugh darkly. "You know, I could take you right here right now and no one will stop me." He's shaking and it warms my heart. I cup his head in my hands and look into his eyes. "I could make all those thing you done to me." This feeling... The knowledge I'm controlling him is delicious. I smirk "How do you like my idea?"

**I want to fight, I want revenge**

**I want myself to be avenged**

**I'm in control, I can do as I please**

**It gives me so much satisfaction you wouldn't ****believe**

But than his eyes flash red

"Fuck you Uzumaki."

KABOOM!

Damn. I underestimated him. And this explosion was quite loud. Someone could hear us. But the fact he was able to freed himself from fire holding...

'**HE'S GOOD.**'

I know. But... That makes thing more interesting.

'**MY BLOOD!**'

Yeah. Your blood Kyuubi, your blood.

"Now when I know you're not a weakling I'll fight with you seriously. Prepare to beating Uzumaki." His Sharingan is activated... After all it can be fun...

"Bring it on Uchiha."

We both jump and prepare to battle.

"Uzumaki, stop." I want to ignore that voice, but something immobile us. I already know what is it.

Sand.

And sand mean Gaara.

Fuck.

We both can see him. I'm mad at him. He stopped my fun! How dare he?! How dare he stop me from killing Uchiha?! How dare he...

Wait? Aren't I acting like old Gaara? Hmm...

"Both of you stop or my sand will keep you immobile. Uzumaki, you should be at home. And you Uchiha shouldn't start fights. Go home." I see Uchiha snarls at me.

"I get it. So now you're his whore."

"YOU BASTARD! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!" I free myself from sand in second and I launch myself at him "SHINE UCHIHA SASUKE!!!!" HE IS DEAD!!!! "UGH!" It's Gaara... He get a hold on me. "LET GO OFF ME!!!!"

"No."

"Gaara... Let go off me or I'll kill you." Okay he did calm me down. A little.

"No."

"You wish to die?"

"...No."

"Than--"

"What in the hell has happened here?!" It looks like someone is here. Sniff, sniff. A lot of someone's.

"Look. It' Sasuke-san!"

"And _that_ brat." Shut up.

"It looks like they were fighting."

"I bet Sasuke-san have beaten this thing up." Shut. Up.

I can sense more of them coming this way. Gaara let go off me and stay by me. I can sense all people I know and most of villagers. I see Ino and Sakura coming this way along with Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji and Lee. In background I see Kakashi and Tsunade. Tsunade say

"All of you, go away. It's a shinobi thing." They all go away. There're only ninjas here.

Sakura come to me.

SLAP!

"How dare you start fight with Sasuke-kun! You--!" She wants to slap me again but sand stops her

"Why did you slapped him?" Gaara asks in serious tone

"Huh?"

"Why did you slapped him? He haven't done anything to you."

"Because he's starting fights with Sasuke-kun!"

"But Sakura-san! How do you know he started it?" It's Lee.

"Because my parents say's he's a demon so he would do something like that and my parents are always right." She said proudly.

"You're pain in ass Sakura. Naruto wouldn't do something like that. He didn't bring him back for it." Shi-Shikamaru...

"But Naruto is too weak! Besides, he's a liar! He told me--!"

"Shut up." I cut her.

"See? He doesn't want me to say it, but I'll say it!" She said with evil grin "He said Sasuke beat him when he doesn't do anything wrong! And Sasuke wouldn't do anything like that. He's too good. Besides I or Ino will be his fiancé!"

"Sakura, shut up."

"I won't you demon!" She wants to slap me again but I stop her.

"It's not wise to do Haruno." She's shocked. I have dropped my mask.

"W-What?"

"That what you've heard Haruno. I do not tolerate people touching me. Besides I think it's about time I'll tell you truth." Seeing her face I say "No, no Haruno. I'm not doing it for me or for you. I'll crush your image of Sasuke."

"S-Stop. STOP ACTING YOU-!!!"

"Acting? I'm not acting. I'm sure all of yours parents have said many bad things about me. Am I right?" They all nods.

"Yeah, but what does it have to do with--."

"Anything Kiba, anything. Now I'll tell you why."

"There is why? You're just prankster. That's why they don't like you." God, Kiba you are dumb.

"Kiba, do you really think they would do something so troublesome just when he were a prankster?"

"Heh, you're right Shikamaru. So?"

"OK. Here it comes. 12 years ago our village was attacked by fox demon--"

"Yeah, yeah and the Fourth killed him. Big deal. It's a past."

"Do not disturb my tale or you'll regret it Haruno. It's last warning. That what you said it's not true. The Fourth didn't kill him. He sealed him in a baby. That baby was me."

"You're a liar."

"You really wanted it... I'll give you a proof. Ninpou: Red Shadow Switch!(2)" I create a Kage bunshin. With Kyuubi character.

"**WHAT DO YOU WANT KIT? WHY THOSE... HUMANS ARE HERE. HEY, THAT'S THAT UCHIHA. CAN I KILL HIM?**"

"KYAAAAAAA! A DEMON!!!!!"

"No Kyuubi. If anyone, it can be only me. See them? They want a proof."

"**SURE...**"

"Naruto, stop him." Tsunade...

"...Okay. See you later Tsune."

"**YEAH KIT.**"

"Ninpou: Red Shadow Back Switch!" Tsune disappear. Everyone is shocked. No. Wait. Not everyone...

"That what Naruto said is true."

"I'm talking! So shut up!" Now I turn to Sakura. "I'll tell you truth about him! He was beating me and I couldn't give him back because of stupid promise I made. He was beating me but then he thought it's not enough so he raped me. Raped me. And he was doing it until Gaara came." Everyone is shocked.

"You're lying!"

"No. You're just fucking bitch that can't take the truth!"

"Sasuke-kun! Say he's lying!" Everyone turn to

"Hn. Why should I say anything? He's a slut and a good one." He... wouldn't say anything like this...

"Say it once again and you'll regret it."

"Stop! Uchiha Sasuke, you're arrested. Naruto--" I understand...

"Wait."

"What?"

"You can not arrest Uchiha Sasuke."

"WHY?! After all he made to you--"

"It wasn't Sasuke. I've just understand it now."

"What do you mean?"

"He wasn't surprised when I told you guys I'm a vessel of Kyuubi. It's because I haven't bring Sasuke Back. Am I right? Orochimaru?" I smirk. He smirk too.

"Hm... It looks like you've seen through it. Shame. But... We'll meet again..."

KABOOM!

----------

**He's gone - it's all normal now**

**You'll believe in it if you're a clown**

**In truth nothing is like it was**

**But I really wish it was**

Now everything is back to normal. Almost.

"Uzumaki..."

"Gaara... Call me Naruto. And yes it was truth. Sasu-no, Orochimaru have raped me. Many times. Why you wanted to ask?"

"I want... to help you." Then he kiss me. He's nice. He make everything to please me.

It's nice.

I'll do to him the same.

We kiss each other.

We smile at each other.

We kiss again.

He want to strip me but I stop.

"I'm not ready yet." He smile. It's nice.

"Okay. Later."

"Stay with me?"

"Sure."

"For long?"

For long.

Naruto, I... I think I love you

"I think me too."

Somehow it sound hollow. To hollow.

Orochimaru have archived something.

I don't think I can love again.

Real shame...

**I'm broken. No one can help me**

**I'm like a doll - there is no inside in me**

**I'm empty, hollow, with noting more**

**I can be but I can't love anyone **

----------------------------

(1) Ninpou: Silence flash! - It's Genjutsu. You can't copy it. You can't see your opponent or hear anything for short time (2 minutes). Naruto made it by himself. Because of Kyuubi chakra it can't be copied. You can't counter it. You have simply wait until it'll end - if you survive.

(2) Ninpou: Red Shadow Switch! - It create a clone. It looks a lot like Naruto but with red eyes, fangs, nails and yellow-red hairs. It's Kyuubi in in clone.

(3)Ninpou: Red Shadow Back Switch! - It nullify Red Shadow Switch

OK. The next chapter will be the last one. And sorry if you don't like poems.


	8. The end

**-KizuPL **

**A/N:** Hello! This is the last chapter. But I've got a new story. And it'll be different.

**Warning:** Sad, very OOC, cursing, YAOI - If you don't like go back. You don't have to read.

**Disclaimer: **Go to first chapter. I own one jutsu!

**Summary: **It all have happened so long ago...[Gaara/Naru]

**Important:**Umm... I can't say to much...

**Thanks to:** Everyone who have found a time to read it!****

Now the last part. Behold!

.

Chapter 7: The end...

Everything was fine. I became a Hokage. But... They all have died. I'm 'dead' too. But not for real like them. I was a Hokage something about... 358 years ago.

Yes. I'm still alive. Only me and Gaara. Temari, Ten Ten, Kankurou, Hinata, Neji, Lee, Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, Kiba, Shino, Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Gai and Anko. They all were my friends. Kabuto, Itachi and Akatsuki, Kabuto and Orochimaru are dead too. Although I had a hard time in killing them.

Gaara and I live together from... 355 years. He loves me but... I don't love him back.

He's back.

We kiss. We strip. He prepare me. We kiss. He's in me. He's gentle. He's nice. I... kind of like it. We came.

And than I want to cry.

He's so nice to me. Gentle. Understanding. Caring. Loving...

Yet I can't stand him. What he, we are doing.

Each time I see Sasu--Orochimaru.

Each time I want to vomit.

Each time I can't forgive myself I haven't noticed earlier.

He can sleep.

I can't. I'm trying my best to be like earlier but it's all an act.

**I wanted to be cold-hearted -I was- but I can't**

**I want to by my old self but now I can't**

**I'm not sure who am I now**

**I want to know who I am. How?**

**I'm not him, not you, not me, so who?**

**I really don't think I can answer you**

I'm acting but my mask is slipping. He's starting to get worried. I don't want to hurt him. Oh, he's wake again

It's another day. He wants to do it again. I let him, then do the same. I don't want to, but he have done so much to me. He doesn't want me hurt. His sand protect me too. Our demon like each others. I have cut myself from them all off. Kyuubi too. It pains my heart but I don't want to disturb their happiness.

Another day.

I feel like each day I'm drowning deeper and deeper. I can't be happy without them all. They were my friends. Especially Neji, Shikamaru, Temari, Shino, Tsunade, Jiraiya and Ino - she weren't friend with Haruno. Haruno run away and get killed by Itachi. That was one good thing he done. She wanted to join Orochimaru. She still thought he was Sasuke. I pity her. Almost. She had hurt me too much.

Another day.

Another. Another and another.

Gaara make love to me again. It didn't hurt. Not my body. It hurt my soul. Orochimaru has broken my.

He has broken my body and than my soul...

Until I had many friends I wasn't so broken. I thought I could bring myself back but...

Gaara... Stop. Don't touch me!

Another day.

He's on mission, he took Shushaku and Kyuubi with him...

**I want to die, I want to disappear**

**I can't take it any longer, I want to be healed**

**Because I still feel pain - it still hurt too much**

**And you can't heal it with your touch**

**It makes it even ****worse but I know you don't mean it**

**I thin I'll just kill myself - than we all will be freed**

Ninpou: One Soul Kill!(1)

Good bye...

----------------------------

TADAM! The end. If you want you can review!

(1)Ninpou: One Soul Kill - It's a special suicide technique. Because Kyuubi is still connected with Naruto, if he would die the both will die. But thanks to that jutsu only Naruto will die.


End file.
